Spontaneous Massive Existence Failure

I headed up to the student center for lunch in a bad mood - which is never an ideal state of mind to be having when facing crowds of randomly moving college students. The noise, the chaos... it was nearly overwhelming. And in the middle of all of that and with a headache forming, I had a weird sensation come over me. For just an instant, I felt as though my physical being was just barely holding onto reality. As though, if I lost just a tiny bit more focus, I would get swept away in a burst of non-reality and cease to exist.

It was disconcerting to say the least. And a firm indication that I need to get more sleep at night.

Reminds me a bit of a few quotes from Douglas Adams:

From the Long, Dark, Tea-time of the Soul: "nonlinear, catastrophic structural exasperation" and "fundamentally fed up with being where it was."

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Spontaneous Massive Existence Failure

That last one seems to fit best. The feeling that we've got to - at least on some level - put forth some effort to simply exist. And if we stop doing - for even the smallest of instants - we suffer a spontaneous massive existence failure.

And perhaps there's something deeper here. More psychology than physics. Can we get so lost in the chaos around us that we lose that essential element that makes us who we are? Is our grip on our own fundamental essence so tenuous? Can our "spark" flare up and go out?

I got my pizza and bottle of green tea with honey - which has, so far, failed completely in granting me any degree of calmness. I'm still cranky and now wary that my own atoms may get distracted and betray me into non-existence. It's been a strange day and I'd really like to go home...