traffic and groceries - the clueless reign

So, I'm driving on route 8 south recently and noticed that traffic was slowing down. I attributed this to late rush hour traffic, but then I heard on the radio that there was an accident. On route 8 south. Just before the Perkins exit. I glanced up to see the sign above me: Perkins exit, 1/2 mile.

Great.

But, traffic never came a complete stop for more than a minute or two at a time. It mostly just moved slowly until I got right up to the exit. Police stopped all the traffic for a moment to get the ambulances out of the way, then they headed out too. Suddenly, the way was clear and we all surged forward with the post traffic issue euphoria. Like emerging from a dark and evil forest into a sunlit meadow - or maybe I've read too many books with evil forests in them.


Last night, I stopped for groceries. Which is always an adventure in itself. I'm pretty good at moving past the clueless, but a poorly placed shopping cart changes things. I got stopped a couple of times by these people, but was mostly unscathed until it got time to check out.

The store I went to is poorly designed in that there is little approach room to the checkout area. So, instead of forming proper lines, everyone just gets kind of bottlenecked. I saw an opening, looped around the doughnut display and was about to queue up when an elderly woman blocked my way. She asked me "Are you going out?"

Now, I think pretty quickly so this is a slowed down version of what when through my head:

1. What?
2. What is she talking about?
3. "Out?" Does she mean outside?
4. Does she think I'm going to steal my groceries?
5. Maybe she's angling for help getting her groceries to her car.
6. Then why did she ask me before I was done checking out?
7. Maybe she's referring to "out" as a direction to move my cart.
8. But "out" which way? Out toward the frozen food? Out toward the check out?
9. Wait, maybe she's trying to invent some grocery store slang and "out" becomes the shortened form of "check out".
10. Hmmm...well, duh. Of course I'm going to check out. She can't be that daft.
11. I've already spent too much time figuring this out - time to use misdirection and then cut and run.

So, I pointed in a direction past her and said "I'm going that way". Then I re-angled my cart, went on past her and found a line that looked longer, but saw that people only had a few items each.

I lost track of her at this point, but it was a strange moment - and that's what this blog is all about.

Back to work...