stress implosion

This whole thing with my room-mate has just made me sick - and way stressed out. At the urging of friends and family, I confronted him last night - since he's got 2 days left from the timeframe I gave him and he hasn't made any visible moves to even pack.

So, he tells me that his loan should be coming through any day now and this Friday he's going to pay his rent for this month and next - and use part of his home loan to pay the back rent he owes me.

Which is a nice gesture that I'll believe when I see. And I think on how much stress could have been avoided if he'd told me this at the beginning of the month - when I was paying the rent and expecting to get screwed as he freeloaded off me. Or rather, he and his girlfriend and her two dogs freeloaded off of me. Well, not the dogs since they don't have any money. If they did, I'd want them first to replace the book, comic book, and dvd that they've eaten.

And it's only a little about the money. It's mostly about respect. I'm not important enough to be kept in the loop and I'm the one that gets put on the back burner (or just taken off the stove) if something else comes up.

A more cynical person would say that he didn't intend to pay me anything on his way out and only came up with this cause I said something. I'm beginning to become that cynical person, and I'm not liking it.

So, if he comes through with the rent check on Friday, then he's got two more weeks. He told me he doesn't want to be there any more than I want him to be there. He admitted it was his fault - but in a way that suggested that it was really my fault for forcing the issue.

I guess this adds up to a partial win for me. He's going to pay me what he owes me - technically, more than what he owes but I'll need the money for cleaning anyway - but he's also got an extended timeline. Great - two more weeks of stress. The alternative is to be an ass and force him out.

A landlord wouldn't have given him extra time. A landlord wouldn't have let him slide on the rent for a full month - paying when it was convenient for him, or not at all.

Could I have let even this slide? Yeah. I could have ignored everything that had gone wrong and not confronted him at all. Would it have saved the friendship? No, I don't think so. I had built up a lot of resentment and distrust - I wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway.

I just want to go to park and sit and read all day. Home isn't a refuge and work isn't any less stressful.

I think this ranks right up there with one of the most depressing blogs I've ever read and by far the most depressing that I've ever written.

Sorry, faithful reader, that's about all I've got.

Back to work...