walmart, fable, party

There's a walmart near where I live. And I've been in walmarts that one might, if one were so inclined, consider slightly upscale. This is not one of them. I'm not going to talk about the cleanliness of the store, nor the various insanities and domestic issues that the patrons had. In fact, my concern this time isn't really for walmat at all - it's merely a vehicle for the behavior that places me in the crushing grip of rage that knows no bounds.

And that is: PEOPLE WILL NOT GET OUT OF MY F*#&ING WAY!


Every single aisle, filled to overflowing with mindless zombies wielding shopping carts designed to block the way at every turn. All I want are some snacks and a DVD - and just navigating through the store nearly did me in.

So, what to do about?

1. Change the traffic patterns so people don't have to cross a high traffic parking area to get to the store. Either make it more dangerous so that the clueless people get killed off before they can get in the store, or safer so that everyone is more relaxed and in a better mood upon entering. As it is now, it's just annoying.

2. Put some arrows on the floor. People will follow directions if they are given. A simple set of arrows in an aisle will help split up the flow of traffic in the store and create order.

3. The self-checkout can be helpful if you are only getting a few items, unless you get stuck behind a moron buying 20 pieces of crap, including items that have to be verified by a clerk, and then they insisted on paying for their purchases with crumpled bills that the scanner can't read! My solution is to have a simple IQ test before entering the self checkout area - something along the lines of a rat and a food pellet. If you fail the test, you get sent over to the regular checkout where a highly trained CSR will be happy to help you.

4. A computer controlled, voice activated, death ray. If someone near you says excuse me and you do not immediately say, "Oh, I'm sorry" and move out of the way, a laser mounted on the ceiling will fire a warning shot at you, just enough to give you a bad sun-burn. A second offense, and you're incinerated.

I don't know if that will solve all the problems, but we have to start somewhere.

In other news...

I played a kick-ass game this weekend called "Fable". You start as a generic hero who's actions influence his visual look, how townspeople react and how abilities advance. It's visually impressive with some cool RPG elements. And it's really well written as well. My character was walking along when a villager ran up and told me his wife was in danger and trapped by a Balverine. (think badger and were-wolf, and then piss it off). So, I ran after him and then got ambushed by about 20 bandits who were really pissed off that I had humiliated their leader a while back. I dispatched them, then caught up with the guy that had set me up. He apoligised and gave me a sack of gold as thanks for not kicking his sorry ass. It was really clever - I got duped just as a "real" hero might have.

Also over the weekend, I went to a party with some friends. We hung out for a bit and then played a round of Scene It - the music edition. I'm not as good with music trivia and it took most of the game to get out of the starting gate. However, I'm really good at the visual puzzles and that - along with some good rolls of the dice, catapulted me around the board and into the winner's circle. I was congradulated, but I don't think there was a lot of emotion behind it. Well, there were emotions- just not good ones. It didn't help that I gloated a bit.

So, that's it for now. Time to get back to work...