the incident

My usual swim trunks are in the wash, so I had to use an older pair that I have. They have the following properties:

1. Smooth material
2. A Velcro fly
3. A drawstring that closed, but does not tighten at the waist band.
4. Strings that do not hold a knot well.

5. Finally, it also does not fit me as well as it used to since I've been exercising.

Walking around does not present any problems when wearing the suit - and even the minor issues with relieving oneself are trivial and easily dismissed.

In the pool, however, the problems become substantial.

Things started out okay, though there was an increased bit of drag in the water and some looseness to the trunks even with everything securely fastened. As I progressed, however, the looseness increased and I began to get concerned.

Then suddenly, in the middle of the pool, disaster. The string, which had been loosening on it's own without my knowledge, gave way entirely. Without that support the Velcro didn't stand a chance against the forward motion through the water.

I was, in a word, exposed.

There were several factors that prevented a total FCC meltdown wardrobe malfunction.

1. I was in the middle of the pool
2. The lifeguards were not, thankfully, paying that close attention
3. The only other person in the pool was swimming in the opposite direction.
4. I have quick reflexes.

I quickly realized the problem, tucked everything back in where it needed to be, and refastened the Velcro. I modified my stroke to get me back to the side of the pool and reconfigured once there. I was worried that a double knot would lead to problems later, so I went with a single know again - though this time I monitored it more carefully.

I finished out my swim, certain that I was partially "mooning" the rest of the pool, but since no one said anything, I think it was okay.

The ironic bit? If given the opportunity, I would have gladly doffed my suit and gone without out. However, I'm fairly certain it's against the rules...

Hmmm... maybe I should check that out.... hang on...

Well, technically there are no rules about that posted on the pools website.

However, I think I know what they would be and I'm certain to get into trouble - and perhaps even make the school paper, though not in a good way.

And as for the suit? Never again. I'd burn it if I was sure the fabric wouldn't create a toxic cloud. So, it's headed for the trash.

later...