notes and a trip to the doctor

I asked my room-mate to write up some notes on the migraine day, which I've then added to so that I have a better picture of what happened. I've got a doctor's appointment this morning - I'm hoping to get a bit more clarity on what happened to me. Also got some TMJ issues going on and I think I've got a wisdom tooth coming in. Yeah, I'm a mess.

Got a bit for work to do before the appointment - better get back to it...

the purple dude photos

Got some photos of the purple dude:

http://gozips.uakron.edu/~aws/purple2.html

Busy day today, better get back to it....

music, jaw, work

Heard a cool song this morning on the radio and I found it again on youtube - been listening to it most of the day. The singer is Regina Spektor and the song is "Fidelity". Great little song, the video is pretty nice too.

My Temporal Mandibular Joint Disorder (or TMJ) has flared up again today. I yawned this morning and I felt things shift - and not shift back. Which is troubling and not a little painful. I've tried to force it back into place without much luck - I'll try and ice it up later and give it another go later. Until then, minimize talking and eating.

Work has been very busy recently, not sure what's up with that. I think we've finally got enough people that we can do more than just damage control - except that we still have to do the damage control too.

Anyway, that's it for now, back to work...

giant paper, bills, deposit, desk, games

I was in a meeting a while back with the Student Life office and, as I'm known to do, I folded a small person out of paper during the meeting. Though I try to be subtle and do it mainly because I'm a little bored, they were still impressed. They made mention of some banner paper they have and offered to give me some. On Friday, I decided to take them up on it. I got three sheets of about 9 ft by 3 ft of bright purple banner paper.

After work, I took over the conference room and taped the paper together. That, along with measuring and cutting down to an 8 ft by 8 inch square took me about an hour. Another 2 hours later and I'd folded it into about a 6 foot all purple person.

Why would I do it? Because I could. He won't stand up on his own - unlike his more reasonably sized bretheren - and I think I folded the waist wrong, but I'm still pleased at the result. No idea what to do with him - I guess I'll figure that out soon enough. I'll try and get pictures one of these days.

Finally got some bills for the "great migraine of 2007". The bill - which was labeled "not a bill" from the doctor's office came to $15.00 Sort of. The math was way funky on it and the final total of the co-pay is anyone's guess.

The hospital bill was quite clear. And insane. A person could take the amount I was charged for my one night stay in "hotel del wake-you-up-every-two-hours" and purchase a car. Not my car, mind you - a nicer car. With power everything and cruise control. And perhaps, a sun roof.

I'm not going to dwell on what the number actually was since this was billed to insurance and I'm not sure how much the final bill will be - but it was still insane.

Two things that do stand out:

1. Speech Pathology. This lady came into my room on Friday morning to check to see if I could swallow and speak. Valid concerns, to be sure. She fed me a variety of cold substances and placed her hand on my throat (which I despise) to check the swallowing function. She then had me read from a card - which I also did without a problem. All fine and/or dandy. Except...

The night before, they also had me read from the same card and gave me a swallow test before I had some of the most completely horrible food on the planet. I also ate again the next morning before the speech pathology lady showed up. And her final diagnosis was that I didn't need her help. I was still charged over $400 for her services.

2. The MRI. It's a really big and noisy machine. Wildly uncomfortable. And, apparently, really expensive to run. I think it was around $1200 for that session. I get that it's expensive for the hospital and they need to re-coop the costs. But, holy crap, I didn't want to buy the damn thing all by myself! I mean, if I'd known it was like that, I would have gone home and used the really strong magnets off of my fridge.

And, incidentally, I was asked what kind of music I would want to hear. I requested "Contemporary. Top 40's. No country." What do I get? It starts off with country since that was what the last wanker was listening to. Then it switches over to top 40's - from the 1940's. For that kind of money, you get Brittany Spears to come over and sing live for me. It's not like she's doing anything now except waiting for her hair to grow back out.

So, I'm cranky about the bills and waiting for the final total.

In "money coming in news" - I got the deposit back from my previous apartment. And for the full amount - which surprised me a bit since my former room-mate had done some serious damage that was beyond my capacity to fix. So, that will go in the bank and wait quietly to be blown away by my hospital bills.

My room-mate and I bought a desk over the week-end and I put it together on Saturday. It was one of those sauder ones that usually go together like legos, but this one was a bit more complicated. Still, it wasn't too bad and it looks nice, so I think it was worth the money and effort.

I also played some games this weekend - but did not really enjoy them. Kingdom Hearts 2 - a timed boss battle. Those are freaking evil. Took me 4 tries to wipe out his minions in the time allotted, then nearly had him destroyed before he threw out more minions and this time I didn't finish them in time. So sorry, start over. So, I leveled up a bit and tried it again. And did worse. So, I switched to the computer and played Fate for a bit. Then I died and was teleported up three levels, but had to leave my gold behind. Then I fought my way back down and couldn't get past a box on the floor that was blocking the path to where I'd left the money. So, I skipped it and went down another level, where the game promptly crashed. Nice...

Switched over to a Myst-style puzzle game - wandered around a freakin cave writing down numbers for the puzzles. Except, I can't seem to pick up any items for my inventory and I had to go online and look at a walk-thru to find that I could even flip over the blurry photos to see they had fragments of words written on them.

So, I turned off the computer and went to go read a book.

And now it's time to get back to work...

bananas

Last night, I dreamed I was working as a volunteer at a zoo. My job was to patrol the monkey enclosure and in this case to try and a coax a little girl out of the fenced in area, where she had snuck in - after convincing herself that she was a monkey. I was hunkered down near the opening, eating a banana, trying to lure her out - since monkeys like bananas, it seemed like a good plan. I also had to keep the other monkeys distracted so they didn't come after my bananas or attack the girl.

I woke up before I got her out of the monkey pen, but I'm pretty sure I was making progress. I got up to go to the bathroom and realized that I was still tasting bananas. Now, it's slightly possible that I sleepwalked downstairs and ate a real banana in the grip of my monkey dream - but the taste faded out far too quickly to have been real bananas.

It was pretty freaky.

Not much else going on this morning - so, back to work...

headache, swim counter, sister, movie

Had a minor blip on the migraine radar last evening - not sure if it was the real deal, but I took some motrin and slept for a couple hours. It's mostly gone, but there are still shadows of a headache lurking behind my eye. I'm a little reluctant to go back to the doctor - short of drilling a hole in my head I'm not sure what other kinds of tests they could do to tell me that, "no, it really wasn't a stroke and yes, it was a migraine,"

My swim counter worked great on Monday, I'm looking forward to hitting the water again today. I'm getting faster and stronger and I'm feeling a little less obliterated after my workouts each time - which is a good thing. I had half-way planned on lifting weights last night as well, but the blip put a damper on that one.

I traded a couple of emails with my aunt recently, she was asking me about the Great Migraine of 2007. Got me thinking back over that time period and one thing kind of jumped out at me...

I think I wrote before that my sister somehow knew something was wrong way before anyone else did - and that she's done that with other people and difficult events as well. But in addition to some Extra-sensory perception she's also got some pretty impressive standard perception. After the big headache hit - while I was recovering, but before the next one hit - my family was visiting. I was still having some speech issues at that point and though I was fighting hard to keep those under control, each time I'd have a glitch my sister noticed it. The rest of the room would be oblivious to that, but I would catch her eye and realize she'd picked up on it.

I've always known she was sharp, but I guess I hadn't given her credit for being as perceptive as she is. And for someone who prides himself on being aware of the world around him, I'm feeling a bit clueless that I hadn't really noticed it, much less commented on it. So, there we go.

In one last bit of news, I watched a 1970's remake of Dracula last night. It was fairly true to the Bram Stoker story, but the "effects" (and I use the term loosely) were really funny. Especially the paper mache bat on a string that kept banging into the windows. :)

Well, that's about it for now... got a busy, meeting filled day ahead of me. Later...

back in the swim, the Prestige, dryer, othello

So, a week since "the migraine of 2007" and I've got my trunks and goggles ready - time to get back in the pool and put another 1/4 mile under my belt - or drawstrings, as it were. Looking forward to it and I'll report again later if I should happen to drown or something.

I had planned on watching The Number 23 over the weekend, but instead watched the DVD of the Prestige instead. Damn good movie - I figured it out partway through and had the cold chills as the rest of the story unfolded. It was crazy good and creepy.

The dryer went out on Sunday - in the middle of a laundry cycle. So, I took it apart and found that the starter switch was loose and burned. I guessed that the switch got stuck in the on position and then burned out. So, we did a little driving around trying to find a place that sold replacement switches - with no luck. So, one last stop at home depot to find a switch that - while not an "official dryer switch" would function the same way. Got it home, installed it - and no luck. Then it occurred to us to check the breaker - which had also been thrown. A quick reset and a button push and the dryer fired right up.

I did a little happy dance. We've still got a switch sticking out the top of the back of the dryer, but it's not a big deal.

I also picked up the game Othello and tried to teach my room-mate. He'd never played before, but was willing to give it a try. I beat him soundly the two games we played - which is understandable since he'd never played before - but on the second game, he didn't have any pieces left and we hadn't filled the board. I'd never seen that happen before and my sister and I used to play this game all the time. Even the rules were a little vague on that point.

Incidentally, the new Othello board is inferior to the old version. The grid is raised and the tiles - which are not as substantial as the old ones - either sort of float awkwardly on the edges or get lodged in the grid. Neither of which is conducive to a high speed title flipped event.

Well, looks like a busy day here - time to get back to work...

the worst headache of my entire life - yeah, it's a fun post

On Thursday morning, I woke up with a headache - or rather, a headache woke me up. It felt like another cluster headache, but since I'd just had one recently, I was worried it was the start of a cycle. Time to get to the doctor. First, though, I had to throw up. A couple of times. It was loud enough to wake my room-mate - who graciously volunteered to take me to the doctor if I could get an appointment in the morning. I called into work and left a message, then called the doctor's office and made an appointment for about 1/2 hour later.

Then began the longest car ride of my life. Instead of getting better after throwing up, I got worse. Much, much worse. I was weeping by the time we finally got to the doctor's office and went downhill from there.

My motor skills shut down and I had no balance or strength. In a few minutes the sensitivity to light had overwhelmed me and I nearly collapsed.

The next time period is... vague. I remember trying to answer questions and follow commands, but even though I thought I understood things, my responses were coming up as gibberish. I apparently got a couple shots in the butt, had a hospital gown put on me, and had a cat scan taken. No memories of those things. I do remember them trying to take my temperature, but I couldn't even follow those simple commands. Apparently, about the only things I said that made sense were the swearing - which I feel really bad about.

Finally, whatever it was, passed. The initial results of the cat scan indicated a stroke - but they gave me some cognition tests that I managed to reboot myself into working through. My head still hurt so bad to lift it up that on one of the tests I leaned forward just enough to see the board, then leaned back and described it from memory.

I had since been transfered from the doctor's office to the hospital in the same building - but they didn't have the facilities to really help me out. So, I got transfered again to another hospital and got stuck in the emergency room for several hours. I wasn't allowed water or food and they took a lot of blood for tests. There were several waves of cognition tests and finally I was taken up to a room. More blood - some really wretched "safe food" after a swallow test - and finally lights out. My room-mate had been on the phone to get everyone in the loop and my co-workers, my parents, and my sister and brother-in-law were planning on coming up on Friday. I was awakened every couple of hours for more tests - then in the morning I had an MRI, an EEG, and a vascular ultrasound. I had a surprisingly good late breakfast, then my family arrived along with one of my co-workers. Found out that my sister had awakened not long before I did on Thursday morning and knew something was wrong, but not what. She stayed up and played playstation till she got the news.

The neurologist stopped by in the early afternoon and said that he thought that the initial dianosis of a stroke was wrong since they couldn't find anything. He said it was most likely, "just a migraine". The rest of my co-workers arrived and we talked for a bit. I still had a bit of a headache, but I was in good spirits.

So, with a suggestion that I carry a mega-dose of Motrin with me at all times, I was discharged. My co-workers headed out and my parents followed my room-mate and I back to our place. I got cleaned up and we went out to lunch. We did a little shopping while I tried to gauge my recovery. We had dinner with them before they headed home and I went to bed.

At 4:30 Saturday morning, I woke up again with a headache. I took a couple Motrin and went back to sleep for 6 hours. Then woke up, took 4 more, then slept until evening. Even still, the headache lingered until late in the evening. It was gone this morning, but a coughing spell brought back a trace.

So, not a stroke. Which is good news, especially since I'm only 34. And yet, I find it a little difficult to believe it was just a migraine. I was gone, and I scared a lot of people with my behavior. Looking back, I had all the symptoms of a stroke and chalking up the "mis-read" of the cat scan to improper positioning on the scanner seems a little off.

I'm still a little off - still a little not back in gear with the world. I'm going to try and go to work tomorrow and see how it goes. And I'm going to have flowers sent to the nurse I swore at when the bottom fell out.

It may be the single weirdest time of my life so far. Thanks to everyone who helped me through it and who visited me in the hospital. And especially to my room-mate, who got way more than he bargained for when he volunteered to take me to the doctor's office.

And that's about it for now... later.

1/4 mile, headache, move

I swam a 1/4 mile today at the pool. I think it helped that the rest of the lanes were taken over by a high school swim meet - I was motivated by the people racing past me in the other lanes as well as the screaming crowd. They weren't screaming for me, obviously, but it was still nice. I feel pretty good and I think it was more than a fluke. My next goal will be to do the 1/4 mile non-stop.

I said "headache" in the subject area - but this was a cluster headache. It started out as sun glare, which I later discovered was a trigger, then it turned into that visual incident when you glance at the sun and see spots. Then another, more funky visual distortion, and then the headache kicked in. Wikipedia describes these as the "suicide headaches" - and I can believe it. I thought I was going to be okay, but then the nausea kicked in. So, I left work early and went home to rest. I was better after awhile and was able to fight my way past the pain and finished up the move out from my old apartment. I left the keys there and shut off the lights. Just a tiny bit sad - I'd lived there since 98 after all, but it was a good decision.

So, that's about it for now - time for me to get back to work and save the day. later...

catching up, moving, swimming, work, candid, Kathy Griffin, weekend

It's been a while since I blogged, though it's not for lack of news. Nope, I've just been very busy with work and with home as well.

The biggest news is that I'm moving - or rather, nearly done moving. Got a new place with a garage, and a new room-mate. So, I've been working on moving all my stuff to the new place day by day - though we've made a few trips in a borrowed van as well. It's been tiring and I feel like I've been moving forever, but I think I'm in the home stretch. Just a few more items, then some clean-up and I'll be done. And then I have to start on sorting out the cardboard disaster in the basement - it's been the dumping ground for all the boxes that we don't know what to do with.

I've been keeping up with my swimming, bumping up to 7 laps a couple of times. The other day, the hot water was out in the pool building - which made for a very cold shower. My stamina is improving and I think I'm getting a stronger so once things are settled in my new place I think I may start using the bowflex again.

Work has been busy, doing a lot more with graphics and some programming. Trying to learn more about CSS - I think I may end up redoing my site again in that format.

Along those lines, one of my colleagues looked though my site and said that he was surprised at how candid I was and that I must be pretty secure here. Which struck me as a little odd since I thought I tended to be circumspect and not use names + keeping things a little vague. I think my boss has seen this and since he hasn't said anything about it, I guess I'm in the clear.

Also in work news...I conducted a really good training session yesterday for a student group. Seemed like they understood what I was talking about and they laughed at my jokes - so, it was cool, though my voice started to fade out. I also trained some folks with the board of trustees and got some really nice compliments.

Went and saw Kathy Griffin last night - freaking hillarious. She was on fire from the moment she walked on the stage and didn't let up. Great stories, a lot of swearing, totally funny.

This weekend I'm heading down to visit my folks for my sister's birthday. Should be a fun trip and I'm really looking forward to cake and some time in the hot-tub. Though not at the same time. I've been tired and sore from the cold and the move - and I've already got my suit packed.

Well, that's about it for now - time to get back to work...

deeply cranky, swimming, games, Descent

I'm not sure entirely what triggered it this morning - but I've been cranky since I got to work. Wait, I think I just figured out what started it...

Anyway, I've been cranky all morning. Snarky, even. Biting comments, grumbling, and occasionally growling. It's been a lot of "People insisting on doing things wrong" and "People making things more difficult than they need to be"

So, I figured I should go get a swim and I'd feel better. Isn't that the way it's supposed to work? Well? No, apparently, it isn't. Or I did something wrong 'cause I'm still cranky.

I'll get over it, eventually, but for now I'm thinking of putting up the orange cones in front of my cube as a warning.

So, swam again today - 6 laps. Tired when I got done, but no longer feeling like I might die. Which is a step in the right direction.

Played a game over the weekend called Dungeon Siege. Pretty good, though it's got some quirks. For starters, no teleport option. So, no gathering a bunch of loot and teleporting home to sell it. Nope, you gotta carry all that shit to the next town - however far away that might be. The answer to this is to buy a mule to carry the loot around. So I did. And then poor Midnight got scared during a fight and ran the wrong way. He promptly got beaten unconscious by a pack of trolls. I was really pissed off and set all the trolls on fire. They hate that. So, it was on. Later on I shot an arrow at a box that turned out to be filled with explosives. Mistake. It killed three of my characters instantly. And all their stuff fell on the ground. I revived them and spent the next 20 minutes trying to sort everything out. It was like going to Burger King and getting custom orders for a bunch of people.

"Okay, who had the Granite Great Sword of Bashing? Come on, one of you had to have it,"

"These aren't my gloves! I'm an archer, not a magician,"

"I wanted 2 rings of health and I'm not sharing,"

It was annoying. But, otherwise, a good game. I also beat Onimusha 3 on easy mode. Pretty cool swords and a whole lotta ass kicking.

I also watched Descent this weekend. There were a few "pants-wetting" moments, but once you got used to the pacing of the movie you could tell when they were coming. The ending was a little weak and the characters were a little one-dimensional, but not a bad flick.

So, that's it for now... time to get back to work...

atm, onimushu 3, work

Generally speaking, I like ATMs. Given the frequently unhelpful bank hours, an ATM is a pretty handy thing. Lately, however, they've begun to annoy me.

1. My bank's ATM now prompts for language as the first selection. English or Espanol. Which, considering how I'm never leasurely at an ATM, seems like a wasted step. A better plan would be to have the transaction prompt first, with an extra button at the bottom that refreshes the screen in Spanish should the user choose that prompt.

2. There's an ATM on campus that, even though no one is using it, sits there and quietly talks to itself in a woman's crisp british accent. It's damned creepy.

3. Finally, I was at an ATM yesterday that:

a). prompted me for a language.
b). then asked me if I wanted an account balance. Which, though this isn't my bank and they would charge me a fee, I thought it would be helpful and said yes. It promptly spit out my account balance and then asked if I wanted another transaction.

Wait, what? No, I wanted an account balance WITH my transaction. Why ask that first and make it a separate transaction? Do people just wander around and think, "Hey, I wonder how much money I've got in the bank?" Does that transaction ever just happen on it's own?

So, cranky now, I proceeded to initiate another transaction and withdraw some money for lunch - which it was I was trying to do all along. This time, it gave me the money and spit out even more paper - but without an updated account balance. Wasted a lot of paper on that one. I got my money and left - cash in hand, but still cranky.

I've been playing Onimushu 3 - good game. Ran into some trouble for a while, got better at dodging and blocking - and now I'm kicking some serious ass.

Work... ugh... saving the day - again. Getting tired of this last nano-second crap. Our new programmer is starting on the 29th - still trying to hire a graphics person. Hope they can hit the ground running and help us out.

Well, gotta get back to it...

34, driving, work

I went to visit my parents and my sister last weekend for my birthday. I turned 34 on Saturday - and people keep asking me if I feel older. And I don't - but apparently I look older.

The student assistant working with our group and I were talking on Friday and I mentioned I had shaved off my goatee because it was so gray. He said, "I don't even know how old you are - 40?"

When I reacted with shock, he quickly back-peddled and came up with 32. I told him I'd be 34 on Saturday. Then I said, "40!?!? You're fired!"

I didn't really fire him and we had a good laugh about it. He's only 19, so I can't really fault him for guessing poorly on ages.

I did a lot of driving this past weekend and encountered some of the longest patches of fog I've ever seen. Pretty intense and rather surreal.

Classes started here yesterday and other than more people being around in the student center for lunch, things done feel too different for our group. I guess parking is even more of an issue this semester, but I get here real early in the morning so it's not too bad.

That's about it for now, back to work...

barry, swim, birthday, games, good deed

After I posted my "copacabanna" lyrical incident, my sister called me when I wasn't home and - with no preamble or closing comment - sang what she knew of the song to get it restuck in my head. While I was planning a rebuttle, she emailed me the complete lyrics and again got it stuck in my head.

Problem being is that she uses her cell phone as her primary phone, so it's tough to catch her at a time when she "wouldn't" answer her phone - since I wanted to leave a message. She had class last night and I called and left her my own message. I sang the entire "Mandy" song all the way through and then hung up. Which is an extra funny selection if you know my sister.

She called me later that evening and was impressed that I sang it all the way through. We had a good laugh.

Swimming - I'm up to 6 laps in my thrice weekly swim - but I'm having trouble keeping track of the numbers. I was using varied strokes to help me keep track, but I only know so many strokes and I loose track easily. I need to get one of those lap counter watches.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I turn 34. Heading down to visit my folks for the day - should be a quiet, but fun, time.

Games - I got a number of gifts cards for christmas and have put them all to good use. Managed to score several "new to me" video games and I've been enjoyed them. Also picked up season 1 of Justice League - good stuff. I'm a big fan of the Flash, but when the Green Lantern says his oath I do get the chills a bit - it's really well done.

Got a call from my ex-roommate's mom. She's been in the hospital and asked if I would take her mother to the store for a few things. So, I hopped in the car and helped out with the errands. While we were out, the following items were purchased:

1. a bag of ice
2. stamps
3. scratch off lotto tickets
4. lotto numbers
5. newspaper

So, there's my good deed for the week. Did you see that one, God? Write that one down somewhere. "Helped little old lady buy lotto tickets,"

Granted, not as good as picking her up from Bingo during a driving snowstorm a few years ago - but still worth some good karma points.

Anyway, I was glad to help out. They're both a little crazy, but in a fun and non-scary way.

Well, I've got a slew of meetings coming up now, time to get back to work...

song, grandma, gift cards

I woke up this morning, after a series of dreams about work, with the song - "Copacabana" running through my head. I've been trying to scrub it out with some help from iTunes and YouTube, but even the most bubble-gum-ish top 40's pop isn't enough to purge it from my head.

In other, less disturbing news, I got a call from Dad with an update on Grandma. She's home and doing better. I called her last night and we chatted a bit. Seems like she was in good spirits and we had a nice conversation.

I got a pile of gift cards for christmas this year - looks like I get a second wave of christmas this year while I do some shopping for myself. Which is always quite nice.

So, that's about it for now - except that it appears that I'm the only one in my group here today. Could be a really quiet - or a really busy - day.

later...

recap of the holidays

I had a sort of pre-christmas with some friends, then headed south to visit the folks. My sister and her husband came over early for dinner, presents, and a trip to see the Zoo Lights in Columbus. The lights were really impressive, but after a while - when pretty much everything was covered in lights - it started to all look the same. So we headed out and called it a night.

Christmas eve - very late - I got a call that one of my friends had been in a car accident. A relatively minor one, but still worrying.

Christmas morning was just my folks and me - though my sister came back for lunch. We had all been planning on heading to Illinois - but my sister wanted to spend time with her husband and I wanted to head back to see if I could help my friend out - since his car was in bad shape.

So, we all headed out the day after christmas. I was able to help out my friend with some driving around and watched a bit of Dick Clark for the new year's eve ball drop.

Might be my increasing cynicism, but the New Year's eve show was kinda pointless. Dick Clark was not looking good and the rest of the crew seemed like they were having an almost enforced excitement. When you get down to it - it's really just another tick of the clock. One funny thing - I called my folks at 12:07 to wish them a happy new year - they'd been asleep since 10:30. I felt bad, but it was funny.

What wasn't funny was my happy new year call to my grandmother yesterday evening. I asked how she was doing and found she was headed to the hospital. She'd been hurting much of the day and the medicine wasn't helping her. I cut the call short as my uncle was arriving to take her in. Not so much a happy new year for her - I hope she's okay.

So, I'm back to work - got a meeting in a few that I'm not looking forward to, but those are the breaks. That's it for now...

there and back again, interview, shopping

Last night I got a call at home from the boss. Seems like the changes we'd made to the home page weren't working properly in IE. So, I had to go in and either fix (and it was code that I wasn't familiar with and/or it was unfixable) - or restore from backup. The backup was the easier route and I had things back in a few minutes. Still, I was cranky about it.

We've got an interview today with a web developer - we'll see how it goes. As a consequence, I'm wearing a tie. Well, not really wearing yet - it's draped around my neck like a scarf until I'm done with my swim today. No way I'm tying this thing more than once in a day.

In other news... apparently, I've got a bit more shopping to do. Small things, but still needs to be done.

Watched the remake of "The Wicker Man" last night before my little trip back to work. Good movie.

I guess that's about it for now. back to work...

Holiday party, no swim, hand-made, tires

Yesterday was the division wide holiday party. We had pizza, chicken, pasta, and lots of desserts. There was a visit from the school mascot - Zippy - and classical music performed by students here at UA. We also had a game show and prizes.

I was on the committee and it was a great honking pile of work. But, I think everyone had fun so it was worth it.

I didn't go swimming yesterday - too tired, though I felt bad about skipping it. I'll be going again on Friday and I may even try to go today as well - depends on how I feel and how screwed up my morning becomes.

Finished up a couple of Origami presents that I'd made for people and got them wrapped last night. Nothing real complicated, but I think they turned out well.

And finally, I've some new tires and wheels to put on my car this evening. Or rather, to have put on my car since I'm not going to be doing it myself.

That's it for now... back to work...

sore, ennui, holidays

I swam again today - and sort of felt bad about it. I was the only one in the pool and the lifeguards had to climb up in the little chair and watch that I didn't drown. Got to be one of the most boring jobs on the planet. Couldn't have been interesting to watch - swim to end, stop and pant, swim back. I did try to mix up my strokes a bit so that might have made it more interesting, but that was only because I'm not very good and I get tired.

And sore. This is the first time I've gone swimming in a while and actually been sore afterwards. Which is not a bad thing, just kinda odd since it didn't feel like I worked any harder.

In other news... I got hit by a massive wave of ennui yesterday. Wikipedia says: "ennui describes weariness or annoyance over a long period of time"

I don't know if a day constitutes a long period of time, but I was more weary and annoyed than those words can really cover.

I think part of it is the holidays - which haven't really been a heck of a lot of fun for me in a while. They are so endlessly stressful and even the simple task of going to the mall - or anywhere near the mall - becomes a grueling experience. I'm essentially done with my shopping at this point and everything is wrapped - so at least that part is done.

Shopping for other people (not nearly as fun as shopping for ones self), trying to spend "just the right amount" and get "just the right gift" for everyone who ended up on my list, and then the travel - which I dread.

I'm trying to be festive and not bring the people around me down - but I don't think I'm doing a great job of that. And hey! More guilt.

And I know I shouldn't feel like this. It's supposed to be a happy time. I'd try and chalk it up to some kind of SAD, but the nice weather refutes that.

So, apply Happy Face (tm) and soldier on through. And I know that I'll enjoy parts of if and will wonder why I was so cranky earlier. Still, it all feels a little empty to me. The Christmas spirit seems to have passed me by.

Enough of this rambling - nearly time to go home and do a bit of cleaning. Yep - I'm a party animal. Later...

watching time

I've got, as it may be abundently clear, a few issues. Not any real bad ones, just a few small ones that don't have much of an impact on my life. One of those is a strong dislike for unfinished timers. Particullary on microwaves - where someone has had a timer going or had been cooking some food and stopped it before it went off - thus obscuring the clock that we would otherwise see there. Though I can resist it, I'd really rather hit that clear button and go back to the clock. I also enjoy setting clocks that have lost their way due to power outage or daylight savings time.

And I think I've finally figured out why these hidden or disrupted clocks bother me. On more than one occasion - and more frequently with the clock in the bathroom - I've glanced at an analog clock just after it ticks over to the next second. It may not have even come to a full halt, but I've caught it at the critical time and have watched the whole second from start to finish.

And, I've got to tell you - that's a long freaking time if you're paying attention. It feels like more than a second passes before the next tick of the clock.

At the quantum level, observation changes things. That's one of the reasons a quantum computer - as super cool and powerful as it would be - is tough to build. If you look at it, things change.

And I guess a fear - or strong concern - is that if I hadn't been watching the clock at that instant, would it have gone on forward? Maybe time only exists in a linear fashion because we're watching it.

There are, fortuanatly, a lot of people here on planet earth and many of them are more obsessed with time than I am. Maybe that was my second to watch, to keep track of thing and keep them moving forward.

And if I can't see the foward progression of time - like on a stopped timer on a microwave - what if I miss the next instant that I'm supposed to observe?

Would everything... stop?

It doesn't keep me up at night - but it does give me pause. And whenever I see a stopped clock, I try to make it right. Just in case I need it...

back to work...