last post, new blog

I haven't blogged in a bit - but this time I actually have a reason other than "nothing going on" or "lazy".

I got "called onto the carpet" about some of my recent posts. It was suggested that I wasn't presenting people in a good light.

My first thought was... well... duh. If you do something stupid or annoying (frequently the same thing) either to me or in my presence, you're going in the blog. In a way, I was also using the blog as a bit of therapy - working through some issues and getting things off my chest. And thereby calming down a bit.

And though I stand by everything I've said in this blog over the years - maybe ranting and writing therapy isn't really doing me any good. There's been a lot of humor here as well, but the perhaps a fresh start is the way to go. A new blog, maybe more focused on the projects I do and the positive things in going on, is the better way to go. I may even try to use this for my website and will eventually move the content over from there.

I recently saw a post on another blog that talked about some WWII posters that said, "Keep Calm and Carry On" and compared it to some newer sayings of "Breathe Deep and Let Go of Things" and "Get Excited and Make Things".

I like all of those sayings - I've even printed them out and stuck them up in my cubicle - and I think that's the collective philosophy of where I want to go.

So.

Approximately Equal To is closing up shop. Join me over on my new blog: Thunder of Wade

http://thunderofwade.blogspot.com/

later...

calmed, costume, car, clear

Well, my inability to sustain a particular mood for any significant length of time seems to be serving me well - I'm already in a slightly better mood.

I've helped a few people, got out on campus for a short walk, and hey! I'm getting a free lunch today. So, not all bad.

I've still got some underlying cranky to deal with - but I'm used to that.

So.

The costume construction went very well over the weekend. I applied a new skill set and some new tools - and even the prototyping went well the first time around. I'll work on it more tonight - and I'm even documenting it as I go along. Not obsessively, but since this is new stuff for me I'll want to show off a bit.

I also got to go for another ride in my room-mate's 1970 Caddy. It's... interesting. For one thing, it's freaking huge. There's no comparing it to modern cars - the scale it entirely different. The seat belts are a little strange - they have two separate buckles that make you feel like you're getting ready to blasted into orbit. The ride... my room-mate says it's like riding on a cloud, but I would describe it more like a mostly calm lake. There is a slight bouncing motion that is akin to gentle waves. Not unpleasant, but different.

Finally, I've got a piece of transparent plastic with me today - prefolded into a traditional crane and then unfolded. I'm going to take this with me when I swim today and refold it underwater. Not for any particular reason other than that I'm pretty sure I can. The prefolding is necessary because of the material. I could easy fold a crane from paper while holding my breath - but the plastic is too difficult to crease and will need a head-start.

Okay... back to work...

awake

I had a pretty good weekend - read some books, worked on my costume, played some games, watched a movie. Last night I decided to end on a good note and put myself to bed early (8:45) so I'd be rested and ready for the week.

HA!

At midnight, my room-mate woke me up - needing to talk. A few months ago, a friend of his was on trial for the murder of his own uncle and ending up hanging himself in his jail cell before the trial ended. We've talked about this before and I've suggested a variety of ways of dealing with how this is affecting him. Apparently, it's still bothering him and he decided that it couldn't wait until this afternoon to discuss - he needed to discuss it right then.

Now, if you were to approach someone that knows me and ask - "is it a good idea to try and engage Anthony in a deep conversation at midnight - on a freaking school night after he's already been asleep for 3 hours?!" Their answer should be "no"

And my room-mate knows this - but we still had a discussion for an hour.

Finally, exhausted from covering the same ground and from generally still being tired, I tell him that I've got nothing left. No insights or deeper truths.

And then he's cranky and dismissive at me! Because I wasn't willing to help. (grrrrrr)

Strangely enough, I'm wide awake. So, I go downstairs, check my email and do a little work - then use the bath room and do a little reading. I also find out what I'm pretty sure prompted the discussion and you can bet I'll be bringing that shit up with him. It's now almost 2 am when I head back upstairs. I can hear him snoring and I resist the urge to wake him up and make him do algebra problems.

It takes me a while to fall asleep and when I do, I have a horrific nightmare. Think "The Shining" + "The Grudge" + "The Ring" + "Poltergeist".... staring Dakota Fanning.

So, this morning - surprisingly enough - I'm seriously cranky. Woe be it to anyone that pesters me today. The vampire stake is at hand and I've got a list of cleverly written insults that I'm itching to try out. I promise to try and not be mean to people today - but I make no guarantees.

For the record - the only time it's appropriate to ever wake me up in the middle of the night is if something or someone is currently on fire. And only if I'm in a position to do something about it.

Otherwise, please, just let me sleep.

Wish the people that I work with today good luck - they'll need it to deal with me.

later...

law

On my way past the student union today I saw 4 police cars parked near the building and several officers standing around. In a few moments, 2 more officers came out escorting a guy carrying a skateboard. The officers opened the back door of one of the cars and the guy got in. No cuffs, no fuss, no resistance, no commentary. Seemed a little over-kill given that it was just one very calm guy. Not sure if it was even an arrest. Weird.

We had a slightly closer encounter with the UAPD yesterday. One of the officers escorted one of my colleagues in to clean out his desk before escorting him back out. A little while later our boss called us into his office for an update. Pretty much all we know is that he won't be back and that we are not allowed to let him in the building. Everything else is pure speculation. Dunno if we'll ever get the real story on this one.

Hmmm... think I should change this to a "not-quite-a-crime" blotter?

Three more hours to go today - really really looking forward to getting out of here today. Not that I have a big weekend planned, but still...

later...

chase, lunch

On the ride back from the awesome lunch burritos - we saw a high speed car chase on Market street. A police car was following a clearly out-matched van - and was in turn followed by a number of other verticals. No idea what was going on with that, but we kept an ear out in case they looped around. Also, not sure if I've mentioned this, but I no longer have to place my order at Chipotle. As I walk up to the counter, the highly efficient and friendly staff begins to prepare my order. Without any prompting from me, they complete the burrito and I only need to give a heartfelt thank-you before paying for my food. Yeah, if someone wanted to poison me it would be pretty easy to figure out what I'm eating in advance, but there are benefits to being predictable.

Also in the news... lunch is on again, this time for Monday. We'll see how this goes - I'm hoping it doesn't get canceled again. Though I personally think that would be pretty funny and wildly ironic.

Got a meeting in a few... later...

lunch, lane

Yesterday afternoon, I got an invite for lunch today as a thank-you for helping on a project. It was going to be at the student center where I usually have lunch anyway - but at least someone else was buying. That was the plan, anyway.

Instead, I got a note in my outlook this morning that the invite to lunch was canceled. No info, no phone call. Just canceled.

Now, I would still help out as much as I can with the project without a lunch invite. And if we did have lunch, I wouldn't have been able to do more for their group. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter much either way. But to invite someone to lunch as a thank-you and then cancel with no explanation - well, does that negate the thank-you as well? I'm not really upset about it since it meant I could do my regular swim (27 laps, thank-you-very-much) - but it was a little odd.

Speaking of odd, I ran into someone in the pool today. I was doing the backstroke and getting close to the end of the lane when I literally ran into a guy in my lane. I've seen him before and I know he's visually impaired - but it was still a surprise. Apparently for both of us - though I'm not a quiet swimmer generally speaking.

The lifeguards helped sort things out - which meant sort of kicking me out of my lane to a non-demarcated area of the pool. Which is okay, but it makes it more difficult to do the backstroke since I'm usually all over the lane. Eh, pretty much how the day has been going.

later...

phrase, lazy

On my hurried walk up to the pool for my mid-day swim (only 18 laps, I was in a hurry - as I may have mentioned) I heard the following fragment of a conversation. Spoken as clear as the day is long - and keep in mind it's Monday, the longest day of the week - I quote the phrase exactly and in its entirety:

"He pooped on Amanda"

I have no idea what that exactly that refers to. If it was a baby or a puppy, well, it's almost cute. Anything else, and well, gross. In any case, poor Amanda.

On the way back from my swim, I saw the most lazy thing I've ever seen. Even more lazy than in that Jumper movie where the guy teleports to the other side of the couch because the remote is out of reach.

I saw a person in a power wheelchair crusing down the walkway at a pretty good clip - with a person seated on the back of the chair between the handles. Now, I have no way of knowing if this second person was able to walk on their own, but I strongly suspect that they were perfectly capable of walking or even pushing the chair if it came down to it. Lazy.

Almost meeting time... back to work...

darko, game

I watched Donnie Darko and S. Darko (the sequel) over the weekend - back to back. The first was excellent, the second was pretty good - time travel, alternate universes, the end of the world, teen-age psychopathic activity - but watching them both in one day may have been a mistake. I had some seriously f*cked-up dreams this morning. Like it was personally my fault that reality was falling apart. I was never so happy to have to get up and go to work.

I played a bit more of "Folklore" for the PS3. Had to fight a big sea monster - it involved electrocuting him, cutting off his tail when he was thus stunned, and finally shooting rockets at his head and then ripping his "id" out. Oh, and cowering in a corner in between attacks. With a force-field.

Better get back to work - going to be a busy day.

later...

costume, law

I went looking for supplies yesterday for my Halloween costume and was very successful. Got a few items that I'll be able to use next year as well - if I'm careful. While I was out and about though, I had the opportunity to see several cases of "the Law in action"

In one busy and crowded store, as I was about to check out, a customer in line reported that his daughter was missing. A nearby customer reported seeing her in the children's section reading a book. So, off he went to find her while the clerks called in a very disorganized "code ADAM". There were several calls back and forth across the loud speakers before finally got her description and name - important things especially for the ones standing at the door. The father found her in short order and the code was cancelled - though a few people were still looking for her until they too got the update. Good that they had a plan - but it wasn't well executed.

On the way home, I saw two cars pulled over. Not that unusual in itself, but maybe a little odd for the location and the time of day.

Went out to Burger King for dinner and saw a police office's car - with lights going - almost, but not entirely blocking the entrance. The car in front of me edged on past him and I did the same. When I got my car parked I turned and saw that the officer had a teen-aged guy up against a minivan with all the doors open. The officer quickly frisked the guy and then marched him around to the back of the police car. There was a guy in another mini-van talking animatedly on his phone. He didn't have any food in there that I could see and I'm guessing he was part of the "incident". I went in, got my food, and left.

Very early this morning, I woke up to hear what sounded like dog barking in the house. I half thought it was somehow the neighbors dog had gotten out of there place and into ours. When I investigated it turned out that my room-mate was awake and had been blowing his nose.

Yes, it sounded like dogs barking. He reported that he heard a gunshot and that was what woke him up. I'm inclined to believe that he was dreaming, but we do have some wooded areas near the apartment and some neighbors - if the local walmart can be used as an indicator - that are not very refined.

I'll concede that not all the events was directly related to law enforcement - but they could be connected without much effort. I'll wrap up this post with one more not-quite-connected thing - tomorrow we relaunch the School of Law's website. Coincidence? Ummm...yeah, most likely.

later...

paddle

There were only two lanes open in the pool today - the rest of the pool was taken up by a kayak class. There were quite a few out there paddling around and it occurred to me that the phrase, "Up the creek without a paddle" isn't really accurate. If you're up the creek - that is, upstream from your starting point, you can at least drift back with the help of the current even if you don't have a paddle. However, if you're down the creek, well, the problem is only going to get worse as you get further and further away from where you started with no way of controlling or reversing your movement.

Just something that occurred to me.

nerd

I've crossed a line recently, falling from the safe haven of geek-dom to full blown nerd. Not physically, I don't have tape on my glasses or a pocket protector. But my mental state is on shaky ground. Evidence...

1. Getting ready to leave the Chipotle parking lot yesterday, I started my car only to have it fail. The steering wheel locked up, some - but not all - of the warning lights came on, and the car wouldn't go. I was still in the space so I quickly turned off the car, then started it again. It behaved normally from then on. I referred to this later as "rebooting" my car.

2. We were discussing "under construction" webpage and how much we don't like them. We compared them to newspapers with blank pages, or movies with missing sections. One of my co-workers said it was like going to see Up! in 3-d only to find that the movie was actually Hannah Montana. I said it was like the movie was "redirected"

3. Finally, my car has recently crossed the 100,000 mile mark and I've been noticing and noting every time the number are binary - and how I'll be sad when 111,112 comes around and it will never be binary again.

I'm considering professional help.

later...

lunch, swim, fraud, shirt, game

We had a celebration luncheon yesterday for a project that I was only marginally involved in and which really isn't done - but the food was good and the dessert was excellent. So, my swim was a bit disrupted and I couldn't go until after work. I got in 30 laps and felt pretty strong, so that was okay.

I've been running a couple of online elections here on campus and we had a small incident of attempted voter fraud. I found it and reported it - ironically, I don't think it was enough to have made a difference in the elections. I dunno what the consequences will be for the parties involved, but it should be interesting.

Catalog season appears to be in full swing and I've gotten a few in the mail recently. One had a t-shirt that said:

"Non sequiturs are like Bicycles. They don't bathe."

FYI - ("Non sequitur" is Latin for "it does not follow.") And no, I didn't know that, but I was pretty close to the correct meaning when I've had the rare occasion to use the phrase in the past.

I fired up the playstation again last night and played some Little Big Planet. There are certain parts of the game that can only be solved by two players and though I've got a second controller and a room-mate that promised to play, I was on my own last night. So, with a little care, I was able to play as two characters and get a few more items. I felt pretty clever to have been able to pull that off - and a little sad that I was on my own. I suppose I could connect online and find someone that way on the playstation network -but most people I've encountered in online games were idiots.

I was supposed to go to a football game this evening, but my FRM's mom called and canceled. She's got bronchitis and decided against going. Which means she doesn't need a driver - letting me off the hook as well.

So, I've got a few errands to run after work - then it's a hopefully relaxing evening at home with a strong cup of tea and a good book. I might even try meditating a bit.

later...

growl

My morning has turned cranky. I'm not going to go into details cause it's all work related, but when my work phone rang and I noted the caller-ID, I let out a quiet and deep growl as I reached for it.

Before my hand could touch the phone, it stopped ringing. No voicemail, no nothing - it just stopped.

Out of fear.

And that, friends, is how it's done. I'm already in a better mood.

later...

computer, party, movies, costume

I helped my room-mate buy a new computer this weekend. I had suggested a desktop - since he needs it for work and almost never travels - but he had his eye on a laptop. A very shiny one. I finally gave up and shifted my function from "real practical advice" to "explanation of terminology"

The set up went fairly well - though I was surprised to find there wasn't any office products on there. Just a 60-day trial and then purchase. So, I set him up with Open Office. He had one eye on the football game while I was explaining it to him, so we'll see how that goes.

I went to a party over the weekend - my boss's wife and sister both turned 50 so there was a combined party for them. The food was good, the music was good but way too loud, and the only people I knew there were those that I worked with. I stayed for a bit, did quite a bit of folding, then headed out.

Watched a couple of movies over the weekend - Midnight Movie and The Unborn. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but these were both pretty predictable. There were a couple of "jump out at you" moments, but pretty tame.

I picked up a few more elements for my costume this weekend - still got quite a bit of work to do.

Guess that's it for now - later...

nerd, movie, melt, game

I had a bunch of files to move from my work computer to my home computer yesterday and it was really too much for email. And too much for the flash drive I usually use. Then I remembered that I had another flash drive - an officially licensed Star Trek flash drive wristband that I'd gotten for 5 dollars and 2 box tops from some cereal. And it had nearly a gig of free space. Sweet! So, I loaded it up, put it on, and wore it home. Well, I wore it to target first while I ran some errands. I got my data transfered and was able to work from home. Ummm... yea? Anyway, the fact that I was finally able to make use of my star trek flash drive wristband was a moment of pure nerd-vana for me. It was great.

I started watching Wolverine last night on DVD. I think it started a little slow - sort of - but despite some issues I had with the characters, it was pretty good. I didn't get to watch all of it - my room-mate was having it out on the phone with his sister while sitting out in the garage in his car. I tried to help him get settled down after that - it was very nearly a melt down - and by then it was too late to keep watching the show. I'll pick it up again today after work.

I'm also going to get back into the gaming mode. I've been avoiding the playstation 3 and the Wii for the past month to prove a point and that time has now passed. I've been a bit more productive, I guess, but not that much.

Work has been more crazy than usual these past few days. I'm not going to go into it, but I'll be glad when the week is done. My swim is going to be disrupted today - I'll have to go later this afternoon.

Guess that's it for now... later...

mood, clay, push, dream, chipotle

I'm in a much better mood today- and I'm sure everyone around me is happy about that as well. I did some work on a couple of projects last evening - including trying to make a TRON version of Gumby out of polymer clay. It didn't work out very well, but it was fun to try and I learned from my mistakes.

I'm also working on a project involving ash and rust - both of which are taking longer to acquire than I expected. The ash is currently coming from incense sticks - and is really too potent to be used indoors. The rust is from a piece of metal that I found, but it's not breaking down as quickly as I wanted it to. I may burn some paper - maybe even some damaged origami - for more ash. And apparently my room-mate's "new" antique car has some underside rust issues that may contribute. Eventually, when I acquire enough, I'm going to mix the items with a diluted glue/water combo and use them to paint on a small canvas.

Watched the movie Push last night. It was okay as far as the acting went, but really good in the "telekinetic ass-kicking" fights.

I had a disturbing nightmare this morning about a sub-basement where "something horrible" dwelled. Even after I woke up, I kept trying to get back into the dream to confront what was down there - which is odd since I know better. If there's potentially something evil in the basement - don't freaking go down there!

Just got back from Chipotle - the burrito was awesome. As to be expected.

back to work...

beams

People that drive at night are jerks. I know that's a sweeping statement - so maybe it's just people that drive near me at night that are jerks.

1. Xenon headlights. Thank you. I'm legally blind now. Why do you need headlights like that? Did you lose a contact lens while on the highway last time and now you're looking for it at 75 miles an hour - hoping that the magical headlights will make it twinkle on the pavement so you can slam on the brakes and pick it up? Jerks.

2. Trucks. Great, you've got a big-ass truck that could drive over a school bus. How awesome for you. Are you aware that the ground clearance also elevates your headlights? And that when you drive behind my normal, human sized, car - you flood the interior with enough light to make the dessert at noon look like the bottom of the freaking ocean? Thanks. I'm blind again. It would be even more awesome if you could please tailgate me for the next 50 miles. Jerks.

3. High breams. Take this quick quiz: "Am I using my high beams when:"

a). There's a car directly in front of me?

b). There's a car coming towards me?

c). There's a car anywhere near me?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, congratulations! You're a jerk. And I'm blind. Again.

I had this a lot on the drive back on Sunday. And as the winter months approach, my morning commute is darker and darker.

In other news... my default mood the past couple days has switched to "irritable". It's usually "slightly annoyed", so, a bit of a downgrade on that. Not sure what's going on and I'm hoping I get over it.

Back to work... later...

sign, shirts

Funny thing I forgot to mention about the trip. When we were going to lunch in Peoria we kept seeing signs for a Crash Inspection Area. We wondered if crashes were brought to the area, if there was an unusually high number of crashes, or if it was about alien crashes. It seemed close to the river, so it might have been something with the coast guard. But I also saw a sign that seemed to indicate car crashes. We were in a hurry and didn't check it in more detail.

Other news... two funny t-shirts from a catalog:

What would Yoda do? Your Ass, KICK IT he would!

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.

later...

trip - Sunday and summary

Sunday morning we met up with my parents again for a quick visit with grandma. As before, she had some difficulty with conversations and kept falling asleep. We were outside a bit, but she got cold and we brought her back in to the dining room. We were just in time for the 'special guests' - a couple of miniature horses that visit every Sunday morning. Grandma didn't remember seeing them before, but apparently she had told the guy that her grand-daughter would love them. My sister wasn't the person she had been talking about, but went along with it. Right up until the horse sneezed on her. And there were chunks. She got it cleaned up and we headed into a lounge area to sit for a little while. Grandma drank some green tea that my aunt had brought - which was a good sign since for a while she wasn't able to swallow. She kept dozing off though and it was time for us to leave. She told my sister that she "couldn't wait to meet that new little baby of hers" - which was really good to hear. My sister isn't due until January and isn't showing that much - so, grandma had to have remembered on her own.

We headed out and when to my cousin's again - this time everyone was home and burgers were being grilled. It was a crazy loud house-full of people, but it was a lot of fun too. We couldn't stay long since we had a long drive ahead of us - but we did get some snacks for the road.

6 and a 1/2 hours later - we were back at my sister's. I drove most of the way back and then she took over for the last leg. It was nearly 9 before I headed north and after midnight before I finally got home.

So.

1. I spent a lot of time lost - which I don't enjoy.

2. The trip didn't seem as long with my sister there - she's fun to talk to. Though apparently we have very different political views that we managed to avoid discussing.

3. The wedding was very nice and I'm glad I went.

4. Grandma is getting good care - but even the best of care doesn't seem to have brought her all the way back. It'll just take time - though it remains to see how much better she can get.

5. Dad drives slow.

I was back to work today at 7 am sharp and even got in my usually (though a little shorter) swim between my meetings. I'm very tired now and I think I may hit the sack pretty soon after dinner.

trip - Saturday afternoon and evening

Saturday afternoon was the wedding so after a quick trip to my aunt and uncle's to get ready, we headed to the church. We got there early and did our best to stay out of the way of the photography. My cousin looked beautiful and happy - though maybe a little dazed. I saw a bunch of relatives that I don't normally get to see. Oh, and with my green shirt and my sister's blue dress and scarf - I decided that we looked like algae.

The wedding was nice - and the pastor clearly knew them and spoke to them. Everything went smoothly - although a copy of the marriage license got lost for a bit. It was an autumn themed wedding, so, we threw leaves on the couple as they left the church.

We went back to my aunt and uncle's to relax for a bit before heading out again to the reception. We had the printed directions, but were following out parents with their GPS. They went the wrong way and we stuck to the directions. :)

We sat with my dad's cousin and his family - and got to see his daughter's baby twins and her husband. The twins were a riot - and were really packing away the snacks and then a lot of the dinner when it was served. I had the chicken.

There was a lot of dancing going on, but we mostly hung out and got caught up. My parents left early and my sister and I stayed a bit longer before heading out as well. We took my 14 year old cousin back - he'd already gotten in trouble for having champagne and decided to cut his losses.

It was late when we got back and we all crashed again. The long drive Friday and the long day on Saturday really caught up with me.